No, it’s not what you think.
There’s a really strange phenomena when you are single, but in your 30s and with a child.
Most of your friends are married with kids. Or maybe not technically filling the definition of married with kids, but in that kind of zone.
Socialising consists of playdates, or dinner. It’s not so much the propping up the bar stage of life.
Which is fine. But I’ve found, to my surprise, that the singleton isn’t that welcome in that environment for some reason.
My invites to nights out have reduced. Friends that I would go for dinner with regularly when I was part of a couple are strangely quiet.
And it’s not that they are ignoring me (well, not most), or that I’m not socialising with them at all.
It’s just I’m only socialising with some of them. The girls.
“Oh, you’re free Friday night? Fab. Let’s have a girls night out!! Let’s get the girls around for dinner! Let’s…”. You get the picture.
The only problem is that I like the company of men. I like to have a mix in my social life. Nights out with the girls are fab, but just because I’m single doesn’t mean I can’t still retain platonic friendships! And some of those girls are only really my friends because I was friends with their men first. So when and why did those friendships fade into the background? When did it split into boys and girls again?
Do the girls think I will try to steal their husbands? Do the boys think I won’t be able to control myself?
I went out last night with a (male) old family friend who I haven’t seen in years. We had some grub, and saw some comedy (more of that later), and I had a really good time. It was really nice to have a chinwag with a bloke in a social setting for once, and in particular to engage in the kind of gentle piss-taking that in my experience only really happens in male company. It wasn’t a date, it was two friends going out. Why can’t that happen more?
[Not that I would turn down dates if they were on offer – but that’s a whole other post…]