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No, it’s not what you think.
There’s a really strange phenomena when you are single, but in your 30s and with a child.
Most of your friends are married with kids. Or maybe not technically filling the definition of married with kids, but in that kind of zone.
Socialising consists of playdates, or dinner. It’s not so much the propping up the bar stage of life.
Which is fine. But I’ve found, to my surprise, that the singleton isn’t that welcome in that environment for some reason.
My invites to nights out have reduced. Friends that I would go for dinner with regularly when I was part of a couple are strangely quiet.
And it’s not that they are ignoring me (well, not most), or that I’m not socialising with them at all.
It’s just I’m only socialising with some of them. The girls.
“Oh, you’re free Friday night? Fab. Let’s have a girls night out!! Let’s get the girls around for dinner! Let’s…”. You get the picture.
The only problem is that I like the company of men. I like to have a mix in my social life. Nights out with the girls are fab, but just because I’m single doesn’t mean I can’t still retain platonic friendships! And some of those girls are only really my friends because I was friends with their men first. So when and why did those friendships fade into the background? When did it split into boys and girls again?
Do the girls think I will try to steal their husbands? Do the boys think I won’t be able to control myself?
I went out last night with a (male) old family friend who I haven’t seen in years. We had some grub, and saw some comedy (more of that later), and I had a really good time. It was really nice to have a chinwag with a bloke in a social setting for once, and in particular to engage in the kind of gentle piss-taking that in my experience only really happens in male company. It wasn’t a date, it was two friends going out. Why can’t that happen more?
[Not that I would turn down dates if they were on offer – but that’s a whole other post…]
The We'an 
Hugs lovely x
I’m part of a couple but I socialise mainly with girls rather than other couples. That’s generally because Mr M’s friends are a funny bunch when it comes to relationships and our friends now are very different. However you’re very welcome to come round and hang out with my husband, he’s not very interesting though :p
I have just found you! I know my mum missed men a lot, not in a sexual way, but in a straight forward companionship way
I know where you’re coming from. I could live quite happily on my own without a man in my life but it is nice to have a social companion in the form of a man, or men. They offer a change in the conversation and don’t tend to get bogged down with problems, needing to share etc.
CJ x
It’s not that the boys think you can’t control yourself, it’s that the boys know their wives will make their lives miserable if they say or do something their wife thinks is overly flirtatious. And she likely won’t even tell them what it was they did or said that crossed that imaginary line into “you’re sleeping on the couch” land!